Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
