She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
