i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
