I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
