I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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