I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
