hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Soap is not a condiment
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize