found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
