i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How external is "for external use only"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
