Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
