Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
