Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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