I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
