I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
