she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
