So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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