All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
