Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
