I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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