these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
