please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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