I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
