real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize