He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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