when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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