We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
