so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
