I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
