mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
bring money and cleavage
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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