Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Found the puke drawer
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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