Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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