My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize