....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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