Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize