Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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