So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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