I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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