just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
