I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
