I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
