what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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