Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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