He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
