Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
