just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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