Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize