so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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