That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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