i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
