woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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