dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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