I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize