Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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