Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
