I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
