Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
