Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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