Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
