so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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