Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
