Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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