Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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