halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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