I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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