I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
