He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize