dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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