So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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