We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
