Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
