And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
